ABOUT

Hi I’m Claire 

At age 38, my life was a mess. I was in a job that I couldn’t stand, my marriage falling apart, my confidence was at an all-time low and I was hitting the bottle hard. All this was hidden by my mask, the mask which is also known as the words ‘I’m fine’ said with a big smile and then a change of subject to move the focus onto someone or something else.

I struggled to get out of bed, most mornings, the alarm clock would ring. I’d get up and deal with it, but anxiety and the dreaded ‘doom’ feeling kicked in and would stay with me until the end of each day. Regardless of my low energy and negative thoughts and feelings I’d get up, put my mask and armour on to protect me for fighting through the day, feeling numb in my heart, yet feeling like a robot with constant noisy chatter jolting around in my head, getting read to mobilise myself, to get through the same, rushed daily routine. I was living in survival mode. I was in a constant state of ‘doing’ ‘rushing’…. rushing to do the school drop off, rushing to work, rushing to meet deadlines, rushing to meetings, rushing my food or should I even say ramming my food into my mouth… just rammed it right on in there, without even a thought of chewing it or even enjoying it (I didn’t give myself the time to) and later on each day suffering with indigestion – due to a full on sandwich blocking my oesophagus, back on to rushing through the day to be able to rush out of work, rush to get home, to rush and make dinner, do the usual house work, quickly eat dinner to then go and sit on the couch, to watch mind numbing tv, then rush the kids through their bed routine before dropping myself into bed on my own, ready to start it all again the following day. Yay!!!

At the time I didn’t realise what was happening to me, it was just life, my life and I sort of just, let myself fall into it. I wasn’t conscious anymore…

I grew up a happy child, mostly positive and open to the universe and opportunities, as kids are. Ever since I was a little girl, I was always wanting to help people, include people in my circle of friends, look after them, make them laugh and feel good. I didn’t feel like this anymore. I’d lost myself somehow…. life happened and I’d lost my way.

In life we experience situations, events, people which can be good, happy, sad, bad and neutral etc. How we make these events our reality comes to us through what we call filters which include our beliefs, habits, selective perception, moods etc - this then shapes our reality and how we see the world from our point of view. All of these events, situations and experiences are stored within our physical, psychological and emotional make up, we then let these experiences influence our mind and heart so that they then become set patterns of behaviour and ways of thinking, such as beliefs, values and mindset about people, places and things for the present moment and our future – without us even realising this.

Going back to my story for a moment, I had a lot going on in my life and as I’ve mentioned I was all over the place, here, there and everywhere – the bloody chattering monkey inside my head and the ‘heavy knot’ feeling in my stomach I turned to alcohol and other substances to help quieten the mind, this lowered the negative chatter and made me feel good for a short time, and then upon awakening the next day, was even worse, and yes you guessed it I was in ‘the vicious circle’. I knew that I needed to change, I just didn’t know how. I was hiding a lot from my family at the time, to them I was fine, when deep inside I was heartbroken and all I can describe it as deep sadness.

I felt paralysed and stuck with my choices in life, it had been going on for quite a long time... until one day, when I felt I could take no more of my constant negative chatter. Then I came across an old NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Coaching book and as I ran through the pages trying to find some magical recipe to help me get through the day, I stumbled upon a familiar chapter, all about ‘Choices’. I began to read... ‘Choices - We all have them, they may not all be easy, or good choices but we have them, there is NO NEED to be stuck where YOU are, YOU can choose to move onto a different path.’ BOOM!!! What a wakeup call... this put me back on my path of self-discovery, my love for meditation, self-belief, success with balance and purpose.

Reading this sparked something in me, my heart opened and my chatter lowered and turned into questions, open questions, hopeful wonder. This sentence I had just read 5 seconds earlier had given me hope and insight. I HAD CHOICES, opportunity all around me, I’d forgotten in all of this, that I actually could make some different choices to change this one and only life I have.

The days after that things started running clear for me and I was open to so many questions. I was saying to myself ‘I am a Coach’ ‘I am a great, successful Coach’. So how could I help others and not help myself?’ The answer was I needed help and support and I hadn’t asked for any, I had said no to all support offered (as you do, thinking you’re really brave for doing so), I’d been trying to do things on my own, using my coaching techniques on myself and then the answer came to me. I needed a Coach and Mentor, I booked myself onto personal development courses, downloaded lots of audible books and began to feed my mind with positivity. I started to notice the people who I was spending my time with and noticed how I felt when I was with people. Was I pumped up with energy when I was with them? Or did I feel drained and low? Once I noticed this, I began to rearrange who I spent my time with, this made a huge difference and was one of the reasons I left my job, as some people at the office were not right for me. I’m not saying they were bad people; their energy was on a different frequency to mine and I didn’t like how that made me feel.

The mask was coming off so I had to leave before I told people what I really thought. I needed to be true to myself. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no angel, but I’d like to think I’m a decent human being and some things just didn’t sit right with me in the corporate world. I’m aware I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, so I decided to go before I got too honest.

What really struck me in all of this, was in fact the number of people I have helped in my coaching career and yet I hadn’t been able to help myself… I’d lost myself and didn’t know what my life was all about. I’d lost my purpose…

I was doing what a lot of people are doing. I was merely surviving. The day I realised this was the day I gave my notice into my full-time corporate job and decided to live my one and only life the way I wanted to. I was sick and tired of the politics, putting on the mask, not being able to be myself, procedures and people preventing me to genuinely coach and help others. As soon as I realised my purpose and started my new journey - as myself, I began to feel much lighter and the saying ‘free like a bird’ had great meaning for me. I skipped into my new life, into my new business and I’ve never looked back
It was January 2017 – the beginning of my new, purposeful journey, I got myself a coach and business mentor, joined a wide variety of new and well-established networks. I made it my priority to surround myself with people who energised me with their positivity, skills, expertise, passion and honesty and went ahead to create my first Coaching and Training Business. With 20 years of coaching experience as well as all the life experience I was now creating, I was surviving no more……

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‘The Gears of Life’